There are numerous instances of fears that keep people from getting what they want every day. A guy, who wants to be a race car driver, watches all the nascar and formula 1 race and never misses one, but is afraid of accidents. A guy standing next to a girl who likes him but he’s afraid of asking out. So he walks away, leaving himself and the girl disappointed. A person who wants to start a business but sees all the problems before they even manifest. Ultimately, he decides against it because these problems seem so insurmountable, leaving himself and his potential clients unhappy. Every day, many people are prevented from accomplishing their dreams due to these imaginary obstacles.

If you would make a list of things that you didn’t do coz you can’t handle failure, you can have hundreds of such events in your life. You have taken the decision based upon your fear and have lost the game without even playing the game. You didn’t give yourself a chance to find out your true potential. Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behaviour. You might work at a job you hate. You may allow yourself to get deep in debt. You may find yourself moving from one bad relationship to another. Without confidence, you don’t allow yourself to pursue your dreams.

Remember when you are doing something for the first time, there are quite a few chances of your failure. It’s normal; nobody can become perfect at the first time. When you fail for the first time you have made yourself closer to your goal. How? You have strike out the one of the possibilities of failure and you won’t repeat it again. When you pursue your dream to achieve your goal despite the failures, there will be a time when you don’t have ways left out for failure and finally you achieve the success you have always dreamed of.

My goal is to continually improve myself, to become better than I am today. One way to do that is to do the things that scare me, to take them on as challenges, and to learn from them even if I fail.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. - Lao Tzu

Recognize Your Fears - First, you need to recognize that this is indeed one of the fears you have. If you already accept this particular fear as the absolute truth, then there is no need to face that particular fear and hence no need to overcome it. Write down the reasons you have and the fears associated with those reasons.

Once you have recognized your fears, you can now work towards defeating them. These are the things that are holding you back from exploring more possibilities and limiting your growth as a person.

If your fear is truly dangerous, find a way to treat it. I wouldn’t recommend doing previous step in this situation. Although, you can find some safety rules and put yourself in a condition where you can be safe even if the fear is in front of you. Other most important rule here is not to panic. Just act cool and assure yourself that as long as you follow the safety guidelines, your fear is harmless and nothing to be afraid of.

Understanding The Root Of Your Fears - With your list of fears that are holding you back, you can now try to figure out where these fears come from. For each item on the list, examine whether this fear is the result of some other fears. Your goal is to consolidate your list to as few fears as possible, so that you can better understand where the root of all your fears are coming from.

When you start this exercise, your list will probably grow bigger and bigger as you discover more and more of your fears. However, like finding bugs in software engineering (and then fixing them), you eventually will hit a peak and the number on that list will start to decrease. Try to find as many common base fears as possible, so that you have a smaller number of fears to work on. I have also found this exercise really helpful in knowing myself better.

Don’t dwell on failures. Draw from the things you’ve done right.

Do not procrastinate. Procrastination promotes fear. When you’re afraid, thinking is your enemy. Act. Do what you think is best, and do it quickly. The longer you take to act, the more time you have to talk yourself out of it, the longer you have to imagine the things that might go wrong. It’s not enough to hope. Take action.

Look sharp. A lot of us experience poor self-esteem because we don’t like the way we look. But we exacerbate the problem when we dress sloppily or are not well-groomed.

Don’t compare yourself to others. Be yourself. I’ll tell you a secret. There are a lot of personal finance blogs out there. I don’t get to read them as often as I used to, but I do try to make the rounds once every week. Sometimes when I do this, I feel like giving up. I feel like quitting. I lose confidence. I can’t write that well, I think. Comparing myself to others is counter-productive. It only makes me feel inadequate. Who cares what other people write, or how well? What’s important is simply producing the best work I can. All I can be is myself.

Change the way you think and you change the way you act. You can control your thoughts. Since you’re only able to consciously think about one thing at a time, only allow positive thoughts to go through your mind. Whenever a negative thought or fear enters, simply choose to stop it right in its tracks and immediately change that thought to something positive.

Overcoming Your Fears - Fear, as far as I can tell, is the result of uncertainty about a situation. We fear death because we don’t know what happens after it. We fear losing our jobs because we don’t know if there is another way we’ll be able to support ourselves. We fear asking a person out on a date because we don’t know what the other person’s expectations are and whether they would say yes or no. In all of these instances, fear comes from not knowing what we would do if some particular situation happens.

To get rid of the fear, simply figure out what you will do in each of these possible scenarios.

When you have a definite purpose that encompasses all situations, then you will always have something fall back on if you don’t know exactly what to do.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.  – Yoda

Figure out your purpose and fear will never control you!

Well, nobody’s job is 100% secure. At this point of time when the whole world is under recession you can try out these Top Recession Proof Home-Based Business Ideas which will definite help you. Here’s a look at some tried-and-true home-based business ideas that have growth potential, now and in the future. These businesses have a greater chance of survival in recession coz these are somehow one or other way are essential to many people and people are in need of these services. These are the best of the recession-proof jobs.

1. Yoga instructor: People now a day’s are getting more conscious about their health. If you have a studio or arrange one it’s great otherwise just like a personal trainer, you can visit clients at their homes or offices. The expertise in yoga can help you grow in the business. The Yoga Alliance Web site provides information on yoga schools, certification, insurance, and more.
2. Tutoring: Education is an essential part of life and everyone is need of a mentor. You can start a business tutoring students in their homes, at schools, or at local YMCAs or other child-care organizations. Talk to your local school district officials and school principals to determine their needs.
3. Business coaching: If you have experience in management or some other specialized business skill, share it with others by becoming a business coach. The International Coach Federation provides certification and a coach referral service for its members.
4. Consulting: If you are an expert in a specific industry, such as finance, marketing, or mediation, consider beginning your own consulting business.
5. Accounting: There are many opportunities available for certified public accountants. If you are interested in getting certified, take a look at the Web site of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants for information on specific state requirements.
6. Web design: If you can design quality Web sites, consider turning your skills into a home-based business. Because this industry is constantly changing, good Web designers are always in demand.
7. Senior care services: The rising number of senior citizens who want to stay in their own homes means big opportunity for nonmedical home care providers, who help seniors with tasks of daily living.
8. Remodeling: If you are a gifted carpenter or contractor, you can turn your passion into your own business. Find a niche that’s in demand in your area and target it.
9. Catering or personal chef: Consider starting your own catering or personal chef business. Target a niche by providing specialized services such as low-carb or vegetarian menus. (Catering requires a food establishment license and a commercially equipped kitchen that meets state and federal health requirements. Contact your local city or county health department for more information.)
10. Gift baskets: Gift basket creation is a popular and creative home-based business. You can sell your baskets online and target both individuals and businesses to increase potential sales.
11. Wedding or event planner: If you are an ace at organizing important events and have a lot of contacts, consider becoming a wedding or event planner. There are numerous certification courses online, including one from Weddings Beautiful.
12. Personal shopper: If you love to shop and have an eye for people’s personal styles, you can offer your services to people too busy to shop for themselves. Increase your profit potential by providing a gift-shopping service as well.
13. Concierge service: If you have a lot of energy, great organization skills, and the ability to juggle multiple tasks, consider providing a personal concierge service to busy businesspeople or upscale clients.
14. Cleaning service: If you are good at cleaning, consider offering your services to others. Both residential and commercial cleaning operations can easily be run from home.
15. Child-care services: Turn your expertise with children into a home-based day-care center. Be sure to stay abreast of your state’s regulations and insurance requirements for this type of business.

There are hundreds of thousand people who face difficult in starting a conversation with a stranger and keep it going. Few years back I was one of them. Whenever I came across a stranger I always use to get confused where and how to start a conversation. My mind always used to get filled with lot of questions. How should I approach? What should I ask first? What if that person gives me a cold shoulder? What if they avoid talking to me? What will they think of me if I will take the initiative of going and talking to them? These are few of the questions that use to bother me a lot back then. For this reason I was not able to talk to people and I don’t have many friends due to this. Then I started to recognize my problems and decided to find out the solution for it. Now I don’t give a second thought before starting a conversation with a complete stranger, now I have lot of friends which I never thought I will have. So now I am giving away the steps I followed to overcome my shyness, start a healthy conversation and make lot friends.

• Introduce yourself and simply tell your name to the new person. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you.
• Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there’s something unusual about it, you’ve got a great topic of conversation. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. Also remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is building up your own library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation someday. It will be amazing how you thread these interesting things when you least expect it, and make conversation an adventure instead of a dreadful task. If you take it to the next step and say things that you want the person to think of as adding value, and keep to yourself things that the person might not, you are actually honing your own personality to be appealing to the other person, and what is a greater act of kindness than that?
• Offer a compliment. Don’t lie and say you love someone’s hair when you think it’s revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person’s looks or body.
• Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves — get them going. “What classes are you taking this year?” but don’t talk about yourself too much that makes you seem full of yourself. “Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?” Ask open ended questions that will get them talking. For example, a good question would be, “That’s a nice handbag, where did you get it?” and then they can talk about the day that they went shopping and all this funny stuff happened, as opposed to, “I like your handbag.” “Thank you.” and then it’s over. Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
• Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don’t let it go by without notice.
• Keep eye-contact, it engenders trust (but don’t stare). Also, use the person’s name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person’s attention to what you are talking about. Smile a lot, and laugh when any quip is made by the other person.
• Smile and have fun with your conversation!
• Be yourself and ask the question that you would think be the right thing to say but, give yourself some time to think about what you say before you say it.
• Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.

Don’ts

• Don’t be overly invasive with questions.
• Don’t desperately ask personal questions.
• Don’t ever comment negatively on the person or someone else’s looks… you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing
• Never act arrogantly and pretend to be a Know It All when dealing with people
• Do not speak, behave or dress immaturely
• Never swear, insult, disrespect, use racial, religious, sexual orientation, and gender slurs in front of others (Unless you know who they are and if they have the same views on things as you.)
• Never ever interrupt a conversation between one or more people. Wait for the conversation to stop and then say something. Common courtesy goes a long way.
• Always say please, may I, thank you, could you when someone is nice to you and when you want something. Being polite shows maturity and intelligence
• Respect those around you
• Be neat, well dressed and groomed. Sloppiness, bad breath and body odor will get you nowhere.
• Sometimes when you start a conversation, the person you’re talking with might think you’re boring. But, it’s okay! Head onto someone else, because sometimes you can pick the wrong person.
• If you are talking to someone you have a “crush” on do not talk about their girlfriend/boyfriend or anything related to you liking them. Stick to what you know about them: if they are into sports talk about the most recent big game.

One last thing, it is important to practice getting conversations started. You may feel a little clumsy at first, but with practice it can become easy to start good conversations.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Gautama Buddha

 What is Anger?

Anger is highly explosive emotional outburst which may lead to physical attack or destruction of property. State of anger also includes exaggerate hostility to unimportant irritants, fast and harsh judgment statements made to or about others, use of passive-aggressive behaviors and social withdrawal. Tense muscles, clenched fist or jaw, glaring looks, refusal to make eye contact, heart rate and high blood pressure are the common symptoms of anger.

 Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a co-worker or a friend) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying about your personal problems.

 Anger Management

The purpose of anger management is to control both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

 Anger is one of the biggest obstacles to personal growth and career success. When we fail to control our anger, we face several unpleasant consequences.

• Anger blocks our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness can not go together.
• Anger makes marriages and other family relationships part away.
• Anger leads to lose in business, because it destroys relationships.
• Anger reduces our social skills.
• Anger leads to increased anxiety and stress.
• When we are angry, our rational and logical thought process blocks and we make mistakes.

 ”Anger blows out the lamp of the mind” Robert Green Ingersoll

 Develop your anger management skills

Those who have a tough time controlling their anger, following anger management techniques will definitely help.

Anger Management Tip #1

When you feel angry, take a time out. Step away from a particular event or person that is starting to upset you. Take time for a short brisk walk.

Anger Management Tip #2
Ask yourself “Will the object of my anger matter one year from now?” you may find out its doesn’t matter in a long run and you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Anger Management Tip #3
Ask yourself “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?”. Take out all the possibilities that may arise. You will notice almost 90% of the possibilities that you have listed out have not occured and you are not sure if those really will happen in future. This will allow you to concentrate and focus better on the possibilities that are happening now and work on those.

Anger Management Tip #4
Imagine you doing the same thing. Admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver too sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself? No you don’t. 

Anger Management Tip #5
Ask yourself “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Anger Management Skill #6
You should master the ability to respond instead of react. Everyone with anger issues are quick to react instead of to respond. When you respond you think first and effectively communicate your feelings. When you react you are not thinking and simply reacting to what the situation or other person has done or resulted in.

Anger Management Skill #7
You should master the ability to communicate assertively. This involves practicing effective communication and responding to certain things without getting hostile or angry about it.

Anger Management Skill #8
You should master the ability to adjust your expectations. The main reason many people become upset is because their expectations did not come to reality. When you do not get something that you expected it can cause the frustration that often leads to anger. This will help individuals to learn to adjust to difficult situations and people.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some usually ill-defined misfortune. A relatively permanent state of worry and nervousness occurring in a variety of mental disorders, usually accompanied by compulsive behavior or attacks of panic. An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness or concern about some uncertain event; an uneasy or distressing desire (for something); a state of restlessness and agitation, often accompanied by a distressing sense of oppression or tightness in the stomach.

Anxiety is a normal reaction. Anxiety is concern when it is under control. It may help a person to deal with a difficult situation. When anxiety becomes out of control i.e. excessive concern, it may turn into a disorder.

“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.” – Dean Smith

Symptoms

Anxiety can cause heart palpitations, fatigue, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, stomach aches, or headaches. External signs of anxiety may include pale skin, sweating, trembling, and pupillary dilation. Someone suffering from anxiety might also experience it as a sense of dread or panic.

Although panic attacks are not experienced by every anxiety sufferer, they are common symptoms. Panic attack usually comes without warning and although the fear experienced is generally irrational, the perception of danger is very real. A person experiencing a panic attack will often feel as if he or she is about to die or pass out.

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.” – John Lubbock

Anxiety does not only consist of physical symptoms. There are many emotional symptoms involved as well. Some of them include: “Feelings of apprehension or dread, trouble concentrating, feeling tense or jumpy, anticipating the worst, irritability, restlessness, watching (and waiting) for signs (and occurrences) or danger and feeling like your mind’s gone blank.”. There’s also, “nightmares/bad dreams, obsessions about sensations, déjà vu, a trapped in your mind feeling, and feeling like everything is scary.”

One of the most common symptoms of anxiety is fear, which includes the fear of dying. You feel an intense fear when you think of dying, or you may think of it more often than normal, or can’t get it out of your mind.”

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo Buscaglia

Steps to overcome anxiety:

Identify and note down your anxiety: First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Then identify your feelings. Write down your awful sad feelings and all concerns that bother you in points. Just let it all come out.

Recognize the cause of your anxiety: From the list take out the first points, now identify the cause and note it down. Then move on to the next point and so on. At the end you have successfully identified the all causes for you anxiety. As you have discovered the reasons for your tension, you have won half of the battle.

Categorize and decide a timeline: Now as you have successfully identified the reasons, its time to find solutions. Before gathering thoughts for finding out resolution, prioritize the reasons and decide a timeline for working on each one of them. Separate the reasons that you can resolve by yourself, from the ones for which you will need support from others. Prepare a well sort-out plan for the issues which can be resolved by you without taking help from others and start working on that plan.

Share your problems: At certain times you may require help from someone. What you may need to do is discuss your problem with a friend. This would not just unburden you but involve your friend in checking the way out. So don’t be shy when it’s comes to asking for help.

Exercise: Include some sort of exercise in your daily routine. Daily going for a morning walk or jogging or any other sport that you like can help. Light exercise in morning relaxes you senses, removes the tension from your mind and body. Meditation and yoga helps you to calm your nerves and chalks out all the stress. As a child, we were fit, active and ready to take on the world. But as we grew old, we became so concerned about our future that we have forgotten we live in present. Remember if you are fit today you can enjoy your tomorrow. But if you will not take care of yourself today, then you may not live to see tomorrow.

Divert yourself: Whenever you start to experience a state of anxiety, get off from chair and do some activity to divert your thoughts from anxiety. Check out some latest movies or listen to your favorite music. Being involved in them could take your mind away from tensions and provide you time to compose yourself. Even your favorite T.V. show can click. You never know. Even some T.V show can spell out the perfect answers to all your questions.

Accept the worst: Remember you can change what is in your control. You can not drive the things that are not under your control, in the way you want. Whenever you are in a state of anxiety, accept the worst that you may have to face. When you accept the worst, the fear of the worst reduces and you feel more relaxed so as to find a solution for your anxiety.

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” – Walter Anderson