Hi there, how are you? You coming over for this post suggest you are not doing very well. You may be very successful or you may be not. You may be rich or may be broke. What ever situation you have got yourself into you are not happy with that. Well it’s ok. Shit happens.

We humane beings are among the most confused creatures among all the animal kingdom. You are not sole responsible for all this confusion. There are lot of reasons. Your parents who want you be like them or like someone else they never became. Your friends who always cheered for being or doing something that they never wanted to do for themselves. Your neighbor, your school teacher and there is long list of such persons. Well it was ok to be in confusion till you are a kid and you having no idea what is right for you. But when you grow up whatever decisions of your parents, teachers, friends or anyone else you agreed to it was your choice. You chose to accept those decisions. So after all those decisions if you are still not happy then take some time for yourself to find out what exactly you want. Forget everything for a moment just be yourself and discover the real you. Believe me once you discover yourself, every path you choose will be towards happiness that you have always dreamed about.

Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Studies have found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.Walk on the grass on bare foot, its a great stress reliever.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of number of couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stress than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time — and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you’re walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing “mindfulness,” a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life’s woes. Even if you’re not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

Warning: If you are constantly unhappy or depressed, seek professional help.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Gautama Buddha

 What is Anger?

Anger is highly explosive emotional outburst which may lead to physical attack or destruction of property. State of anger also includes exaggerate hostility to unimportant irritants, fast and harsh judgment statements made to or about others, use of passive-aggressive behaviors and social withdrawal. Tense muscles, clenched fist or jaw, glaring looks, refusal to make eye contact, heart rate and high blood pressure are the common symptoms of anger.

 Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a co-worker or a friend) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying about your personal problems.

 Anger Management

The purpose of anger management is to control both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

 Anger is one of the biggest obstacles to personal growth and career success. When we fail to control our anger, we face several unpleasant consequences.

• Anger blocks our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness can not go together.
• Anger makes marriages and other family relationships part away.
• Anger leads to lose in business, because it destroys relationships.
• Anger reduces our social skills.
• Anger leads to increased anxiety and stress.
• When we are angry, our rational and logical thought process blocks and we make mistakes.

 ”Anger blows out the lamp of the mind” Robert Green Ingersoll

 Develop your anger management skills

Those who have a tough time controlling their anger, following anger management techniques will definitely help.

Anger Management Tip #1

When you feel angry, take a time out. Step away from a particular event or person that is starting to upset you. Take time for a short brisk walk.

Anger Management Tip #2
Ask yourself “Will the object of my anger matter one year from now?” you may find out its doesn’t matter in a long run and you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Anger Management Tip #3
Ask yourself “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?”. Take out all the possibilities that may arise. You will notice almost 90% of the possibilities that you have listed out have not occured and you are not sure if those really will happen in future. This will allow you to concentrate and focus better on the possibilities that are happening now and work on those.

Anger Management Tip #4
Imagine you doing the same thing. Admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver too sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself? No you don’t. 

Anger Management Tip #5
Ask yourself “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Anger Management Skill #6
You should master the ability to respond instead of react. Everyone with anger issues are quick to react instead of to respond. When you respond you think first and effectively communicate your feelings. When you react you are not thinking and simply reacting to what the situation or other person has done or resulted in.

Anger Management Skill #7
You should master the ability to communicate assertively. This involves practicing effective communication and responding to certain things without getting hostile or angry about it.

Anger Management Skill #8
You should master the ability to adjust your expectations. The main reason many people become upset is because their expectations did not come to reality. When you do not get something that you expected it can cause the frustration that often leads to anger. This will help individuals to learn to adjust to difficult situations and people.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some usually ill-defined misfortune. A relatively permanent state of worry and nervousness occurring in a variety of mental disorders, usually accompanied by compulsive behavior or attacks of panic. An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness or concern about some uncertain event; an uneasy or distressing desire (for something); a state of restlessness and agitation, often accompanied by a distressing sense of oppression or tightness in the stomach.

Anxiety is a normal reaction. Anxiety is concern when it is under control. It may help a person to deal with a difficult situation. When anxiety becomes out of control i.e. excessive concern, it may turn into a disorder.

“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.” – Dean Smith

Symptoms

Anxiety can cause heart palpitations, fatigue, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, stomach aches, or headaches. External signs of anxiety may include pale skin, sweating, trembling, and pupillary dilation. Someone suffering from anxiety might also experience it as a sense of dread or panic.

Although panic attacks are not experienced by every anxiety sufferer, they are common symptoms. Panic attack usually comes without warning and although the fear experienced is generally irrational, the perception of danger is very real. A person experiencing a panic attack will often feel as if he or she is about to die or pass out.

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.” – John Lubbock

Anxiety does not only consist of physical symptoms. There are many emotional symptoms involved as well. Some of them include: “Feelings of apprehension or dread, trouble concentrating, feeling tense or jumpy, anticipating the worst, irritability, restlessness, watching (and waiting) for signs (and occurrences) or danger and feeling like your mind’s gone blank.”. There’s also, “nightmares/bad dreams, obsessions about sensations, déjà vu, a trapped in your mind feeling, and feeling like everything is scary.”

One of the most common symptoms of anxiety is fear, which includes the fear of dying. You feel an intense fear when you think of dying, or you may think of it more often than normal, or can’t get it out of your mind.”

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo Buscaglia

Steps to overcome anxiety:

Identify and note down your anxiety: First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Then identify your feelings. Write down your awful sad feelings and all concerns that bother you in points. Just let it all come out.

Recognize the cause of your anxiety: From the list take out the first points, now identify the cause and note it down. Then move on to the next point and so on. At the end you have successfully identified the all causes for you anxiety. As you have discovered the reasons for your tension, you have won half of the battle.

Categorize and decide a timeline: Now as you have successfully identified the reasons, its time to find solutions. Before gathering thoughts for finding out resolution, prioritize the reasons and decide a timeline for working on each one of them. Separate the reasons that you can resolve by yourself, from the ones for which you will need support from others. Prepare a well sort-out plan for the issues which can be resolved by you without taking help from others and start working on that plan.

Share your problems: At certain times you may require help from someone. What you may need to do is discuss your problem with a friend. This would not just unburden you but involve your friend in checking the way out. So don’t be shy when it’s comes to asking for help.

Exercise: Include some sort of exercise in your daily routine. Daily going for a morning walk or jogging or any other sport that you like can help. Light exercise in morning relaxes you senses, removes the tension from your mind and body. Meditation and yoga helps you to calm your nerves and chalks out all the stress. As a child, we were fit, active and ready to take on the world. But as we grew old, we became so concerned about our future that we have forgotten we live in present. Remember if you are fit today you can enjoy your tomorrow. But if you will not take care of yourself today, then you may not live to see tomorrow.

Divert yourself: Whenever you start to experience a state of anxiety, get off from chair and do some activity to divert your thoughts from anxiety. Check out some latest movies or listen to your favorite music. Being involved in them could take your mind away from tensions and provide you time to compose yourself. Even your favorite T.V. show can click. You never know. Even some T.V show can spell out the perfect answers to all your questions.

Accept the worst: Remember you can change what is in your control. You can not drive the things that are not under your control, in the way you want. Whenever you are in a state of anxiety, accept the worst that you may have to face. When you accept the worst, the fear of the worst reduces and you feel more relaxed so as to find a solution for your anxiety.

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” – Walter Anderson